2 behaviors that can make the opposite sex develop a growing fondness for you

Many people ask me, Teacher Tao Zi, how to make someone like you? If you can truly master and implement the following two points, it’s not a problem to make someone develop a stronger fondness for you.
Make good use of contrast
Provide emotional value to the other party during the conversation

Making good use of “contrast” can help you advance your relationship quickly.
Let me first share with you a phenomenon that often appears in movies, idol dramas, and novels. The structure of such plots is mostly like this: At the beginning, the male and female protagonists don’t like each other, but something happens that forces them to start getting along. Eventually, they develop feelings for each other and end up together.
At first, I would have thought that such a plot was mostly a specially arranged segment by the director to enhance dramatic tension, but from a psychological perspective, there is actually scientific evidence for it.
In the research conducted by American psychologists Aronson and Lind, such a result was verified. He had researcher A conduct seven conversations with subjects, and based on the content of the conversations, he caused different subjects to have different evaluations of researcher A, which were:
“Bad” -> “Good”;
“Bad” -> “Bad”;
Good –> Bad;
Good –> Good.
Next, we will individually ask the subjects about their likability towards researcher A.
The results showed that:
Bad –> Good (liking degree 7.67),
“Bad” -> “Bad” (likability rating: 2.52),
Good –> Bad (likability 0.87),
Good –> Good (liking degree 6.42).
The results of the study are intriguing:
The whitewashing strategy of “from bad to good” seems to have won the greatest favor.
The pattern of going from good to bad elicits the strongest aversion.
In other words, if you are the type who is “golden on the outside but rotten on the inside”, you may initially be highly admired by girls, just like the male protagonist in the movie “Pardon Him 77 Times”, who is adored by female student Mandy. However, when Mandy reads the heartbreaking memories written by the female protagonist 77 times and realizes how terrible the male protagonist is, she ultimately chooses to leave, just like the situation described.
Research reflects that people are more inclined to fall in love with those who “turn over a new leaf” or those who were not initially very attractive to them but gradually showed their good sides, compared to those who have always performed well.
Perhaps some people, upon seeing this experimental result, might wonder, “Did I perform poorly in front of girls at the beginning, and then try to make up for it later?”?
Basically, I personally don’t recommend this approach, because a man’s first impression in a woman’s heart is very important. If you choose to make yourself fail at the beginning, it will not be easy to revive yourself from defeat. Therefore, in terms of creating a positive contrast, I suggest you try to show a side of yourself that is different from your usual life.
For instance, if you, who are usually shy and introverted, exhibit a braver, adventurous, and challenging side of yourself, or if you, who are usually calm and composed, showcase a passionate and lively side, it may give your partner a fresh impression of you, thereby bringing both parties closer.
In addition, there is another psychological phenomenon known as the “pratfall effect”. It refers to the phenomenon where when a seemingly perfect person occasionally makes a small mistake, people tend to perceive him as approachable, likable, and human, rather than unattainable.

II. When chatting, it’s important to understand and provide emotional value to the other person
Many boys and girls chat, but the topics always end up being superficial about life. They fail to establish deeper connections with girls or upgrade their relationship to a deeper level. Even though they seem to have a very lively conversation, the result is that they can’t even get a date. Or if they manage to go out on a date, nothing comes of it afterwards.
Why is it like this?
There are two reasons:

Be less selfish
This is a common mistake made by men: they only talk about and care about women during conversations, never mentioning themselves. If she doesn’t know what value you have or what advantages you possess, how can you possibly attract her? The core of conversation lies in mutual understanding and resonance between the two of you, not in so-called tactics, routines, or superficial compliments.
Over-pleasing
Things that are easily obtained are not worth cherishing, such is human nature.
If you think that treating a girl well and subtly conveying a patriarchal attitude of men being inferior to women will earn her kindness and respect towards you, you are sorely mistaken. If a girl can win your care and love without having to do anything, then naturally she doesn’t need to make any effort or investment towards you either.
Objectively speaking, your relationship with girls is unequal.
This concept can also explain another myth among many men: why, after spending a lot of time together, it’s always me who starts the conversation, and if I don’t initiate, the woman won’t take the initiative to reach out to me. I believe that after the explanation above, you will find the answer.
Because you made her do it, because you have no standards. As long as it’s the girl you like, you can be nice to her unconditionally, saying good morning and good night to her unconditionally. In her heart, she doesn’t need to do anything, you’ve already fallen under her spell.

To avoid the above situations, we must achieve the two major purposes of chatting:

Relationship upgrade
Many boys have learned a lot of scripts, routines, and techniques, hoping to impress in conversations. However, after all your efforts, have you made any progress in your relationship?
Are these skills useless? Not at all.
In fact, these tips are merely catalysts for conversation, aiming to facilitate the escalation of the relationship with a girl. They cannot be used independently to “show off” and bring a girl back. Conversations require attention to core objectives. If the conversation drags on for too long, not only will your attractiveness decline, but the girl will also be drawn away by the attention of other men.
Many men initially have good conversations, but the girls’ responses become increasingly cold later on, and this is the reason. I believe the key to upgrading a relationship lies in the probing between advancing and retreating.
A girl’s actual feelings towards you cannot be as clear-cut as a machine, telling you whether she has “feelings” or “attraction”. The progression through each stage is not necessarily from “having feelings” to “having attraction” after just three conversations.
Precisely because it’s a feeling, an abstract concept, what we need to understand is that although the generation of feelings is vague, there is a discernible process to follow. In this context, the advance and retreat of your verbal interaction determines whether you can break through the critical gray area in your interaction with the other party.
So what is advance and retreat? In terms of understanding, you can imagine stealing bases in a baseball game, from first base to second base. On the ever-changing field, can you be sure that stealing bases will succeed? The success or failure of stealing bases is determined by a comprehensive comparison of many objective realities.
But if you don’t try, you’ll never know if stealing bases will succeed. The same goes for women’s feelings towards you. Because they are abstract, you can’t accurately calculate how much of a good impression your performance has left in a woman’s heart.
The feedback a girl gives you in response to your ambiguous verbal probing determines your current status in her heart.
Just because we are human, we also decide a girl’s reaction today based on our mood. A successful test is nothing more than giving the girl a full-body stimulation, which is telling her that, in your heart, you can accept me to this extent.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you can probe without any boundaries. After all, there are etiquettes between people, and the depth of relationships also depends on the level of familiarity between them. It’s impossible to just use the excuse of advancing or retreating to do something extreme or something that doesn’t conform to social norms.
When you figure out what constitutes advancing and retreating, your interaction with girls will truly blossom. If you don’t know what you can do at this stage and how to advance and retreat with girls, it’s best to seek advice from someone experienced.
Establish a sense of connection
If upgrading the relationship with a girl is the top priority in chatting, then maintaining a strong sense of connection with her is the second priority. Women are emotional creatures, and no matter how good the atmosphere is at the moment, these emotions and feelings will fade away with time.
In the era of advanced modern networks, women have access to an abundance of men, and their attention can be easily captured by other more attractive men at any time. The solution is to establish a sense of connection with women and avoid being forgotten and neglected by them.
The sense of connection includes: who you are, your information. You also need to have sufficient intelligence on the personal information of girls.
Due to our mutual understanding, it’s convenient for us to restart a topic with girls. If a girl doesn’t know you well, it will be difficult for you to ask her out, and it will also be challenging for you to get close to her heart.
Many issues between men and women ultimately stem from cognitive gaps. Men who lack experience often have an overinterpretation of relationships. To improve the current situation, it is imperative to confront the cognitive gaps between the genders and alter existing behavioral patterns. This is the only way to break through the current situation.
Ultimately, no matter what tricks you use to help warm up the relationship, it all boils down to the fundamentals of love. Good communication and self-care abilities are the cornerstones that determine whether the relationship between two people can continue to thrive.
Everyone has a mouth and can speak, but the focus should be on what to say and what to do to truly touch a girl’s emotional circuits and make her fall in love with you. This is the key.