The three taboos when chasing girls are to step on these three minefields
Chasing girls is actually a competitive game.
Choice is more important than effort, and there should be control over the methods and pace of pursuit.
Recently, there have been more and more issues like this, and no one knows where to start and what problems to avoid?
Especially when encountering a girl I like, I am more likely to be timid and at a loss.
Now let’s take a look at some taboos in chasing girls. These are all minefields. Brothers who still hope to see them, please take a detour.
1、 I only know how to chase, not how to attract
Love is not something that can be won by just pushing forward with all your might and holding onto a beautiful woman.
The first big taboo for many boys is that they only have the word “chase” in their mind, without the concept of “attraction”.
After chasing for a long time, I ended up with twice the effort and half the result. I put in a lot of effort, only getting a “good person card” and becoming a free porter, painter, computer repairman. In the end, I became an eternal spare tire and entered the friendship zone. At this point, we still don’t know where the problem lies.
Love relies on “attraction” rather than “pursuit”.
Relying solely on ‘chasing’ cannot bring about love.
Because from the beginning, the girl didn’t even take a liking to you. So whether a girl can take a liking to you depends on whether there are any aspects of you that she likes and appreciates.
So, it’s better to optimize and improve oneself, pay attention to the transformation of appearance, and enhance speaking and communication skills.
First, let the girl take the initiative to appreciate you, then you can chase after her, and finally we can be together very well.
2、 Form is more important than everything else
Performance 1: Buying and buying cannot buy a woman’s heart
Many boys have a mentality of ‘I have money, what kind of girl can’t be found’.
So, in order to showcase their material charm and capture beautiful girls, many boys will work hard, save a lot of money, and prepare a particularly expensive gift for boys, always thinking that this can express their sincerity and win the favor of girls.
However, this action not only wastes money beyond your abilities, but also fails to win the hearts of girls.
Girls hope you have money, but what they value is actually your personal abilities, ambition, development, social status, and the material security that these can bring in the future.
You have the ability to achieve and do it, that’s what girls crave from you, and money is just one manifestation of it.
Luxury goods can only satisfy materialistic women, but they cannot give most girls the sense of security they want.
So, girls often see not gifts, but your intentions.
Gifts can be given, and they don’t need to be very expensive or large. However, they should not be given to girls under pressure or appear too casual,
It is best to follow two principles: “heartfelt+special”.
Performance 2: Using a grand confession, thinking it will impress the girl
Some boys may choose a more formal way of confessing their love, such as holding a rose in a large public place, expressing their feelings with candles, and confessing their love for a long time. This method is not a problem, but it is mostly suitable for couples who have been together for a long time, getting to know each other and creating some surprises, or proposing immediately. The relationship between the two is very good and natural, so the use of this method is very limited.
If not used properly, it can only scare away girls and not give them a “rejection” step.
Using this trick to confess makes girls feel a lot of pressure.
It’s okay for girls to accept this trick, but if they don’t accept it, you’ll lose face and your inner strength. Directly smash the field.
The focus of confession is on a girl’s feelings, not the form.
3、 Self righteous
Scenario 1: The girl experiences negative emotions
Female:
How could that girl do this? I treat her like a friend, I’m so good to her
Male:
I think you also have some negative aspects. You need to think from her perspective. After all, she is also very busy and responsible for many things. If you keep thinking like this, it is easy to become a negative energy. Lu Xun once said that this is also not good. In fact, it is all your negative thoughts, which can easily affect the relationship between you. If it affects the relationship, it will naturally affect the development of your relationship in the future. As the old saying goes, harmony is precious. We should not think too much of her. Since we are her friends, we should think from her perspective and have empathy as human beings
Female: “…” (OS: Can you shut up? ）
At this moment, the girl has rolled her eyes, been angry by you and doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.
Interpretation:
Especially when girls encounter difficulties, they only hope to receive comfort, a hug, or even to vent their frustrations together. She is like a cat that needs to be touched along her fur, and many straight men like to reason at this time to show their erudite and talented side and take the opportunity to boast.
On the surface, it seems that you are very rational in helping girls establish their thinking, but in fact, such actions undoubtedly make girls annoyed to death.
Block, delete, no matter what interactive groundwork you have done before, if such a scene occurs, it is basically a highly lethal “crossing”.
Scenario 2: Difference between Moments and Reality
Man: “I found a delicious Sichuan cuisine. Let’s go eat it
Woman: “Ah? I don’t like Sichuan cuisine. I can’t eat spicy food either
Man: “How could that be? Stop pretending. Last time I saw you post on your social media, you posted spicy hot pot
Woman: “Pretending? Where did I do it? Did you see me ask about the spicy part I ate? It was Double-flavor hot pot, the beginning of our classmates’ party.”
Man: “How could anyone not eat spicy food? It’s so delicious
Female: “Okay, you can go eat by yourself
Interpretation:
The specific preferences displayed on a girl’s social circle may not necessarily be the same as her own life. If you know a real person, you must understand her preferences based on how you interact with them, rather than just being a “Mouri Kogoro” in your social circle. It feels like you have analyzed some things. In fact, life and social circle display are sometimes really different things. Don’t overinterpret and arrogantly label each other.
Scenario 3: Exchange my sincerity for your preferences
Female: “Could you please stop always giving me steamed buns? I appreciate your kindness, okay
Man: “What’s wrong? I wake up super early every day to buy you breakfast. Why don’t you appreciate me
Female: “It’s not that I’m ungrateful. I really don’t like the anise flavored buns you bought. And if I want to sleep in, I have to ‘force’ myself to wake up early to get your buns. Please, don’t do this
Man: “You… I’m so good to you, you actually
Interpretation:
What you like, the other person may not necessarily like. What you think is good may not necessarily be good to the other party as well.
You feed bones to cats and fish to dogs, of course, they will both leave with a flick of their tail and not look back.
You think you’re already working hard, but if I keep giving you things you don’t like, you may not necessarily be happy, right?
So, you need to adapt to local conditions and prescribe the right medicine.
To sum up, the three major taboos when pursuing girls mainly lie in “not understanding attraction and pursuing”, “not understanding attraction and buying things”, and “not understanding emotions and being arrogant”, all of which are actually due to issues with attraction and emotional interpretation.
Attraction ultimately relies on self-improvement, and emotional interpretation requires further practice and learning.
In terms of emotional interpretation, especially when women find that if the other person is so “self righteous, likes to interject, pretends to understand, and thinks they know the other person”, girls will consciously replenish their emotions because of their sensitivity. If they are with such men in the future, their emotions cannot be digested and speaking out is just adding to their own troubles, their emotions will drop to freezing point.
At any time, choosing the direction is more important than striving.
So, these points are a minefield for boys. Never touch it.
