The games in love!!

1. restrain oneself
Once a person obtains something, they inevitably crave something better than that. But playing chess is the most important thing to avoid greed, and love is the most important thing to avoid greed.
In the past, if you wanted a meal that cost 100 yuan, he had to squeeze it out every week to take you there; When you have enough control over what you want to eat, you are dissatisfied and want him to give you Givenchy and Burberry; Finally, he has the ability to give you his time and my space.
Finally, he gave you freedom.
He doesn’t want to boast about his efforts, but you forget that when he gave you everything he could, you laughed happily like a child.
If he doesn’t give it to you, say he no longer loves you. Why do you have so much nonsense? Why do you, a white eyed wolf, say he no longer loves you, while he only loves you in a different way? Why do you say he doesn’t love you when it goes from 10 to 100 and then to 1000?
When you meet someone you like, you know how to restrain yourself and tell yourself to wait. How can you be so anxious and eager for the other person to prove that they love you with one thing at a time when you are in love?
If you cannot learn to restrain yourself, remember that one day the failure of this relationship will be attributed to your own self inflicted consumption.
This is not the freedom to lose love, but a part that adults should understand.
If the chess game has just begun, what you need to do is not rush to “eat handsome”, but to understand yourself and your opponent.
If you’re just flirting or starting a relationship with someone because you’re not familiar enough, all you need to do is find a wingman.
A girl’s best friend and a boy’s brother.
The other party doesn’t know you well enough. In addition to personal impressions and understanding of you, they will definitely use examples to ask people around them and deepen their understanding of you.
If the people around you happen to be familiar with you, then you can also monitor military intelligence.
Just like entering this industry, understanding it on your own is not enough, you also need to ask people who understand this industry.
3. Gradually demonstrate your sensitivity, rather than giving people a too good impression from the beginning.
Does this contradict the preconceived notion of ‘remember to leave a good impression on others’ that you have heard?
That’s right, leaving a good impression is important, but not too good.
Before the game starts, if your opponents hear about your strength, they will definitely try their best to exploit your weaknesses and become stronger than you.
Similarly, if you rush to start and showcase your best side, the upward trend of reward points will not last long.
Because your excellence is limited, the faster you reach the upper limit, the faster your shortcomings will begin to appear in the other person’s eyes.
The delicious food that we cannot forget is never just the first bite, but after eating it 100 times, the aftertaste is still endless. With anticipation, we can do it again.
The most taboo game is “emotional card”
Because love and tolerance are necessary, and this is correct.
But because of love, you repeatedly adjust your bottom line, making it bottomless. Do you think unlimited submission will elevate your emotions? Just because you’re afraid of losing someone, you lose yourself, right?
When the other party crosses your bottom line of principles, if you say, ‘Do it well, do it well, it’s okay, this small matter is nothing.’
Then, feeling frustrated and discouraged, the other person arrogantly raises their head and realizes their importance to you. This is not satisfaction, but recklessness.
Then you will feel: I have sacrificed so much for you.
The more severe the imbalance in a relationship, the closer it is to losing it.
What you are thinking is actually what you are thinking.
What you need to do is not to have patience just to cross the bottom line, but to clearly tell the other person that I can treat you well, spoil you, and love you, but you cannot ignore my principles and bottom line, and cannot restrict my time and space.
It’s not that whoever likes more loses, it’s that whoever has a low posture loses.
Since it’s a game, never forget that in order to play, at least a match with the ability is needed, at least it needs to be evenly matched. Otherwise, unless the other party intentionally releases water, you have no chance of winning.
As stated in Jane Eyre, “Love is a game where one must always maintain equality and balance with the other in order to rely on and cherish each other in the long run. Because too strong opponents make people tired, and too weak opponents make people tired

5. The Nash Equilibrium in Love

The game in love is often a long-term process, not just at the beginning. So, if there is an imbalance, how should we mediate and handle it?

This is consistent with the principle of equal strength. When problems arise, they must be addressed from the root.

Firstly, you need to clarify which aspect is unbalanced?

Take unequal love as an example.

The Nash equilibrium in love is that when the other person doesn’t show more love for you, you can’t love more because you’ll lose yourself; We cannot love less, because the other person only wants more than expected, and if it is less, they will complain.

So, the way to avoid problems is to avoid unilateral dominance or weakness from the beginning, and to maintain equality as much as possible: if there is already a problem, if the other party is forcing you to give more, increase your efforts and give back without going against your will, and communicate in a positive way against your will.

In the former, you need to make the other person feel that you also care about them and this relationship; Stand from the other person’s perspective and consider their needs.

For the latter, you need to choose someone who is not causing trouble in the dark of the moon and the wind of the night, and be careful not to use sharp words. Every word and sentence conveys a concept: I love you, you don’t have to be so good to me, I will still love you. I don’t want to see you only love me and forget how to love yourself.

At the same time, you also need to tell the other person about their strengths in your eyes.

In a creative way: for example, if you encounter difficulties or questions in a certain area, go ask the other person, which is a form of recognition.

If you unilaterally give more, you demand that the other party treat me as well as I treat you.

Stop loss! Stop losses in a timely manner while this relationship can still be remedied.

So, how to love less without letting the other person complain?

Loving more often means that the balance of power has tilted. In addition to gradually reducing one’s efforts to the appropriate amount, it is also necessary to improve oneself and use one’s resources and strengths to restore balance to the balance, rather than relying on giving to restore it.

Finally, in fact, the highest level of playing chess is to be indifferent to winning and losing, to not always think about winning and losing, to distinguish between good and bad.