How to flirt with girls without feeling greasy? Learn these 5 steps
If you find it difficult to find a partner and don’t know how to chat with girls, then today’s article will help you.
Many men fall into a “polarized” situation when chatting with girls, either being too polite, courteous, or serious, leading to boring conversations, or being too frivolous, greasy, sweet tongued, and unreliable.
A good conversation must be built on mutual respect and interaction, while also showing confidence, generosity, and humor.
You need to create a fun and relaxed conversation between you and the girl, without any pressure or awkwardness, that’s the atmosphere you need to build.
Of course, achieving this is not easy. The following 5 steps shared hope to help you shape this result.
The first step is to establish confidence and self-esteem. You need to believe that girls can always tell when a boy is confident, confused, hesitant, and cowardly.
If you belong to the latter, your opportunities to interact with them will be greatly reduced.
Why?
Because women like a guy who knows what they want.
You might say, ‘I don’t have much money, how can I be confident?’? But the problem is, the object you are pursuing should not be a “white rich and beautiful”, or a materialistic woman who is greedy for vanity, or even a woman who holds high the banner of feminism, right?
In the circle of ordinary people who match your social class, there will definitely be some girls who are excellent in themselves, beautiful in appearance, and low-key in character and behavior.
If you still can’t be confident when facing these girls, you need to reflect on yourself and see if you’re really so ‘powerless’.
That’s right, when we meet a girl we like, we get nervous, which is normal because when we approach our crush, our bodies release a substance called phenylethylamine, which makes us blush and feel restless. But confidence can counter it.
Confidence is a mindset that requires time and a lot of practice. No one is born with confidence. If you don’t have it, practice being confident until you truly have it.
This is not a very good method, but it is a fact that the more you practice, the easier it will be for you to perform in the future.
Of course, if necessary, start building yourself from the bottom and then go all the way up, for example:
1. Exercise your body. Proper exercise can enhance your confidence;
2. Enhance your personal abilities, and when you possess value, you will naturally feel confident;
3. Develop the habit of positive thinking and don’t easily feel that life is dull and painful;
4. Organize your appearance well. It’s Chinese New Year and it’s great to buy good clothes to wear.
Remember, when a man believes or doesn’t believe in himself, any of his words and actions can be revealed. To approach a girl, it’s best to believe in yourself.
The second step is to maintain a relaxed and interesting attitude. The key to chatting with girls is to make things easy and interesting.
You should know that humor is a powerful ‘flirting weapon’, and if you can use this weapon well, you will create a good atmosphere, which will lead to positive outcomes.
So once you have confidence, the second step is to know how to become interesting without giving people a heavy or rigid feeling.
It should be noted that it is best to avoid all jokes about a girl’s body shape, appearance, or contempt for her. For example:
A girl asks you: Is there pure friendship between men and women?
Your so-called humorous response: “It depends on the girl’s appearance, the uglier she looks, the purer her friendship becomes
What impression and feeling do you think this kind of ‘humor’ will leave on girls?
The best humor is telling small stories about yourself, such as embarrassing things that have happened in the past or interesting situations that have occurred.
If it’s the example above and you want to make the answer humorous, you can use your own brush, such as:
Woman: Do you think there can be pure friendship between men and women?
You: Based on my experience, there should be some! Because most girls want to maintain a friendship with me after seeing my appearance.
Do you feel that this answer is calling yourself “ugly” and belittling yourself, and you feel embarrassed to say it? You can understand it this way, but the cleverness of language lies in the ability to uncover different interpretations.
When the girl heard you laughing and joking like this, she politely said to you, “No way! I think you look pretty good
You can express your own interpretation: “Thank you! But that’s what I mean. Because I look pretty good, girls don’t trust to develop further relationships with me and can only be friends with me
Girls will definitely laugh again when they hear you say it so seriously.
This is the correct way of humor, not by belittling others to build humor, but by cleverly self deprecating to make the other person laugh. This is a manifestation of confidence.
Yes, this may bring pressure, but this kind of conversation should be fun for you and her, making it easier to create a relaxed atmosphere.
Don’t jump into heavy topics, such as asking about her entire life story, stay away from anything too serious or negative, and make the girl feel that talking to you is an easy thing.
The feeling of no pressure, easy to say, is the cornerstone of successful dating.
If you give people the impression of being an interesting but confident person, even a bit arrogant if needed, but don’t overdo it. Because women tend to reject men who are too arrogant.
As long as you have confidence in what you say and a firm tone, it’s enough.
The third step is to avoid strong feelings of need. Remember one thing, when interacting with girls, do not show a strong sense of need in your words and actions.
Make sure that the posture you stand up in does not give people the impression of “poverty mentality”, possessiveness, or clinginess, but rather a generous, relaxed, welcoming, and respectful attitude.
Showing a strong sense of need towards girls is one of the biggest mistakes when interacting with them.
Because when you have a sense of need, it means you need the other person, you need her to chat with you, you need her to care about you, and you need her to spend time with you.
This is completely different from wanting her to notice you, but it doesn’t matter if she really doesn’t notice you.
When you have solid dating and interpersonal skills, you won’t feel discouraged because of it, and you won’t feel like the current girl is your only one.
To be frank, when you have the skills you need, you have dating and interpersonal skills, you know what works, and you know what to do next.
You know finding the right person is just a matter of time. Therefore, if these interpersonal and chatting skills don’t work for this girl, it’s not a big deal.
After all, you know what is effective, you know how to make it work, instead of desperately trying anything to make girls notice you.
Therefore, the solution to the problem of “poverty mentality” and possessiveness and clinginess is to master solid dating and interpersonal skills.
Those who have a strong sense of need crave for girls to need them. And those who have confidence and possess these solid skills only hope that things go smoothly, without showing a strong sense of need. Even after chatting today, they wish they could hold hands and kiss tomorrow.
They know what they are doing, and they know they will ultimately achieve the success they want.
The important thing is to change your mindset, from “I need this person, I hope all actions have an effect” to “I hope my actions are effective, but it’s okay if they don’t work because I know what I’m doing
So, even if you say some humorous words when chatting with a girl, it doesn’t matter if the other person doesn’t laugh. Don’t feel embarrassed and don’t think that the other person doesn’t care about you.
The only thing you need to do is continue chatting normally and then say the next humorous word. Instead of showing a sense of need and asking the other person, “Do you think my joke is funny? I prepared it specifically to make you laugh
Otherwise, it would be childish!
The fourth step is to know what to say when interacting with girls. In addition to creating a relaxed chat atmosphere through humor, you need to know how to adjust your words according to the girl’s reaction.
In other words, you need to know when to say what to say. This is a major factor in ensuring natural, harmonious, and smooth chatting.
Otherwise, even though the girl is talking about her “appearance anxiety disorder,” you are still acknowledging the other person’s concern and saying, “You think it’s normal for you to have this concern. It would be even better if you were a little thinner
That’s the answer of low emotional intelligence.
At the same time, frequently causing the conversation to become awkward is also a sign of not being able to get along well. It’s not that keeping the conversation going is unnecessary. But try not to let the conversation develop into a cold topic.
Appropriate silence and silence can help everyone adapt to each other’s presence, and it is also a good choice. But the premise is that you did not actively turn the conversation into a cold topic.
So, when it’s time to praise her, praise her generously; When it’s time to joke, boldly joke around; When it comes to showing empathy, don’t talk about some unfounded reasons.
For example, if a girl tells you, “The next exam is for civil servants, and I feel like I won’t pass it, I’m very worried
You have to give her confidence: “No! Why do you have such concerns? I think with your intelligence, passing this exam shouldn’t be difficult, right? Unless your brain suddenly crashes on the day of the exam! Otherwise, I don’t think this exam is difficult for you
Small talk is the most crucial foundation. By chatting, not only do you feel comfortable, but you can also help her feel comfortable and attracted to you.
When you are chatting, don’t just tell jokes that have some and no substance, as this will prevent the conversation from moving deeper and prevent emotional resonance between each other.
So idle talk is a huge savior. When you understand the basics of small talk, when you know how to expand the topic, when you can “tease” the other person in a friendly way through chat, you have already won half.
For example:
Female: I always feel like I’ve been feeling a bit down lately!
You: Why? Is menopause here? (Friendly and humorous teasing)
Female: Hello! What kind of menopause? I’m so young!
You: Okay, okay, then why are you in a bad mood? Are you worried about something?
Female: Maybe! Perhaps you’re worried about the civil service exam, but aren’t you?
You: How could you not be afraid? With your intelligent intelligence, passing this exam shouldn’t be difficult, right! (Compliment the other party)
Woman: How do you know I’m smart?
You: Looking at your sharp eyes, delicate face, captivating eyebrows, and fashionable attire, everyone tells me that you are a smart person. (Specific praise)
Woman: I love hearing that!
You: Yeah, so what’s there to worry about? Unless your brain suddenly crashes on the day of the exam! (Returning to the serious topic)
Woman: I’m just afraid of that!
Next, we will have in-depth communication and share each other’s troubles.
This is the normal pace of conversation that should be expected.
Step five, pay attention to your body language. Your body language can sometimes indicate what kind of person you are.
And sometimes body language is even more crucial, but most people are not aware of this. I think some good body language may not be necessary for young people, but it is absolutely crucial.
For example, when standing, keep your body facing her and keep your arms open at all times, without crossing, bowing, or playing with your hands.
Don’t keep smiling; Only when necessary. If she says something foolish or funny, you can make a contemptuous expression towards her, or even give her a slightly angry face.
At the same time, don’t hug her unless you really think it’s appropriate. Never touch any inappropriate parts of your body, as it will only cause you to lose them.
Any physical contact should be light, casual, and fun, and convey a message: I don’t mind getting so close to you, but I know how to control my own boundaries.
And you also need to make good use of your gaze, knowing how to directly look into a girl’s eyes without making her feel uncomfortable, while maintaining confidence and a reassuring gaze.
The most important thing is not to stare at some sensitive parts of her body with your eyes, just look into her eyes. I know men can’t resist it, but don’t look in front of her.
Finally, it is important to maintain some of your own sense of mystery and not rush to reveal everything about yourself. It is best for her to share some of her own stories, and for you to share some of your own stories as well. Instead of wanting the other person to know everything about you all at once and make a choice.
Of course, one should also pay attention to her body language. Is she doing the same as you? Is she playing with her hair? Does she occasionally touch you? These are all signs that she is interested in.
When you know how to do the above, you will naturally be able to move forward and backward freely in dating, instead of getting lost and missing opportunities.
