How to chat with girls? The most detailed method! Save for future reference!!
Chatting with girls is an eternal topic. If you chat well, you can quickly generate attraction and eventually get a girl. If you chat poorly, you may not even be able to make friends.
However, the frequency of chatting varies depending on your relationship with the girl. Today, we will discuss how to strike the right balance in chatting with girls at four different stages of your relationship, so as to truly progress the relationship step by step.
- In the initial stage, basically, for all the girls you just met, as long as you don’t take the initiative to contact her, she won’t contact you either. Even if you take the initiative to contact her, she may respond very slowly or not respond at all.
For example:
Man: Hello, nice to meet you
Female: Hello (half an hour later)
Man: What are you doing?
Female: It’s fine, just bored
Man: How can you be bored?
Female: (No reply. Inner thoughts: Do I know you well enough, bro? Why can’t I be bored!)
Five minutes later:
Man: Aren’t you bored? Why didn’t you reply to me
Five minutes later:
Man: You’re such a liar. You’re obviously busy yet you say you’re bored
Five minutes later:
Are you done with your work?
Five minutes later:
Why aren’t you speaking? What’s causing this situation?
Firstly, you and the girl are not familiar with each other, and neither of you knows much about the other;
Secondly, girls themselves tend to have a strong sense of self-defense. The more proactive you are, the more they will feel that you have an ulterior motive;
Lastly, your topic is too vague and lacks any appeal to women.
How can I chat with a girl in the initial stage to make her more attracted to me?
Should I maintain a high frequency of proactive contact with girls to attract their attention, or should I avoid proactive contact with girls to avoid revealing my neediness?
Obviously, neither is correct.
Not knowing doesn’t mean you can’t learn. Being defensive doesn’t mean that every word you say will be perceived by girls as having an ulterior motive.
So at this stage, it’s fine for you to occasionally chat with her. If the girl doesn’t reply during the conversation, don’t ask her why she’s gone. She has no reason to tell you.
Another thing to note is that even if you occasionally chat with her, you must have a proper reason. For example, if she updates her WeChat Moments, you can use this as a starting point for a conversation. If the girl hasn’t updated her WeChat Moments for a long time, take a look at her previous posts to understand her interests and hobbies, so that your conversation won’t be too random.
II. Stage of ordinary friends
At this stage, unless a girl has something to attend to, she won’t take the initiative to reach out to you. Even if you do so, in most cases, your conversation will be confined to a group of friends and will rarely touch upon each other’s personal matters.
For example:
①
Female: Are you there?
Man: Uh-huh, I’m here
Female: Last time we met, you mentioned that you bought a DSLR. I’m going to XXX with my bestie tomorrow. Can I borrow it for a day?
Man: Sure, no problem
②
Man: We had a great time at the party yesterday. Woman: Haha, after all, it’s been a long time since we last met. Man: I just realized how good you sing. Woman: Thanks for the compliment, XXX sings really well too. Man: You both sing well. I wonder when we’ll have another get-together next time
Female: Uh-huh, yeah
At this stage, there may be moments when you and the girl seem to have a good conversation, but this does not necessarily mean that she has a favorable impression of you. Essentially, her responses are aimed at maintaining her own image.
After all, you are considered friends. If she doesn’t reply or responds coldly, you might perceive her as aloof and arrogant. This is not the impression the girl wants to leave on you, so she will still respond to you in a relatively positive manner. In fact, it’s like the popular internet saying goes, “smiling at you is purely out of politeness”.
If you are content with the current situation, you will only drift further and further away from the path of friendship.
So, how should one chat with a girl at this stage?
Firstly, gradually shift your chat topics from “seeking help when needed, discussing friends, and chatting about general matters” to “talking about your own affairs”, that is, sharing your life status with each other. To achieve this, you need to do the following:
- Enrich your own life. This includes work, study, travel, fitness, gatherings, and so on. Only when your own life is enriched can you have something to share with girls.
- Present yourself well. As your life becomes more enriched, it’s important to let the girl know. Presenting yourself well not only allows the girl to understand you, but also makes her want to get to know you better.
- Engage actively in interactions on social media. If a girl shows interest in your life, respond positively and interact well with her. Then, choose an appropriate time to initiate a private chat on WeChat.
Secondly, control the frequency. When you see a good opportunity, seize it and end the conversation when it’s over. Don’t let the conversation drag on endlessly. For example, you can say:
“Let’s talk again next time. It’s getting late. I need to maintain a good state for work tomorrow.”
“Let’s not talk about it now. I have to go… I’ll chat with you again when I have time.”
III. Ambiguous Stage
At this stage, the girl has already shown some interest in you. However, you are still the one who initiates contact with her more often. Although she will also initiate contact with you, it’s less frequent. Generally, your conversations at this stage make both parties feel comfortable and enjoyable.
Why are girls still rarely taking the initiative to reach out to you during the ambiguous stage?
At this stage, you can sense that she has a good impression of you, given that every chat is always enjoyable. Therefore, deep down, you hope that the girl will often take the initiative to chat with you, which will further confirm whether she has a good impression of you.
However, the girl remains quite passive, so you often wonder if she really has feelings for you.
The result is that the more the girl doesn’t reach out to you, the more you can’t resist reaching out to her, constantly worrying about gains and losses.
Actually, girls just want to appear more reserved, especially when they like someone. They don’t want the other person to see through them, so even if they want to chat with you, they will hold back, not take the initiative, and prefer to wait for you to reach out to them.
How can you make a girl overcome her reserve and take the initiative to chat with you?
Actually, it’s not difficult. Just give the girl an excuse to initiate contact with you. Since you’re already in the ambiguous stage, it’s not that she doesn’t want to reach out to you, she just doesn’t want to appear too forward.
You can set up a suspense for the girl during the chat, for example:
Man: My buddy, you’ve encountered it before, haven’t you?
Female: It seems like I’ve seen him before. What’s up with him
Man: I suddenly remembered how funny it was when he met his girlfriend. You’d never expect it
Female: How funny is it
Man: The story is a bit long. I can’t finish it today. I’ll tell you next time, and I promise it will make you die of laughter
Woman: Haha, good. Your goal is to arouse the curiosity of the girl. Once she’s curious, she’ll have an excuse to reach out to you.
For example: Female: Didn’t you say you wanted to tell me your buddy’s story last time?
Man: Oh, yes, it all starts with xxx
You can also guide girls to invest in you, for example:
Man: It’s late, go to bed early
Female: Uh-huh, sure
Man: It would be great if I could wake up tomorrow morning and see a “Good morning” message from you
Female: Haha, got it! Get some sleep, good night
Man: Alright, good night
In the ambiguous stage, even with such a direct request, the girl won’t refuse. The next day, when the girl sends you a good morning message, isn’t that her taking the initiative to chat with you? If you continue to send messages for a few more days, the girl will habitually send you messages every day.
IV. Couple Stage
This stage is relatively more complicated. Sometimes, if there is less contact, she feels that you don’t care about her; but if there is too much contact, she feels that you are annoying and don’t give her some space.
Why does this situation occur?
Firstly, women inherently lack a sense of security. The reason why you are able to be together largely lies in your ability to meet her psychological needs, that is, to make her feel secure. Once your contact with her decreases, she will no longer feel this sense of security, and naturally, she will think that you don’t care about her, causing instability in your relationship.
Secondly, it is a woman’s innate nature to love beauty. Women spend the vast majority of their lives thinking about how to make themselves more beautiful, so they need to spend a lot of time shopping, browsing online stores, and chatting with their girlfriends. If you don’t even give her these basic moments and always want her to accompany you, she will find you very annoying.
Therefore, during the couple stage, it’s important to strike a balance in how often you contact each other.
As for how to grasp this degree, due to the differences in personalities among girls, I can only offer some suggestions:
- When your girlfriend contacts you, unless you really can’t spare the time to reply, you must respond promptly;
- When your girlfriend is in a bad mood, contact her in a timely manner, as she needs your comfort;
Here, special attention should be paid to situations where your girlfriend suddenly feels down, such as:
What should you do when she suddenly tells you good night ahead of time?
Incorrect demonstration: “Hmm, okay, good night.” (At this point, you should probably get lost as far away as possible. Please take a look at the time. Do you think your wife is a pig? Just sleeping? There must be something wrong and she’s in a bad mood!)
Correct way: “Why are you sleeping so early today? Are you alright, honey? Are you feeling unwell? I still want to chat with you for a while. If you’re feeling down, tell me.” (Showing appropriate concern and remembering your wife’s menstrual cycle) - If you chat with her and she has something to do, just let her go ahead and do it. You’re not in a hurry for a moment;
- Never respond to her “good night” message immediately without replying to her other messages, whether intentionally or unintentionally;
- You don’t have to contact her every day, but at least let her know what you’re doing;
- If your girlfriend is angry, contact her in time and coax her;
- When she is shopping with her bestie, there’s no need to pester her to chat;
- Unless she requests, there is no need to chat with her like having three meals a day;
