Dating tips help you achieve twice the result with half the effort

How to choose a location for your first date? Try to choose a place that allows you to relax.

Don’t forget basic social etiquette: be punctual, be late and notify in advance,

Set your phone to vibrate (if you are really busy, please reschedule your appointment; try not to play with your phone by yourself). Don’t eat too loudly, don’t wolf down food, be nice to others (such as waiters, taxi drivers), remember to say thank you, and open the door for them. Details make you more tasteful and attractive, and also make the atmosphere more comfortable. Suitable for both men and women.

03 Go on a date at a restaurant or bar,

If possible, choose places with highlights (night view, street view, garden, or less noisy performances). The highlights allow you to advance, retreat, or defend. When you feel tired or have nothing to say, you can take a look at the scenery. Perhaps you can also generate some topics from the scenery (memories, travel experiences, interesting places or events). Restaurant seats should be chosen as much as possible, avoiding places that are too closed, narrow, or crowded.

Always remember to pay attention to the comfort level of your date.

If you go to places that are too noisy, crowded, stay for too long, or get along too bored, you can tell. At least you can compare the state of the other person when you first arrived here and now, whether they are happier, more relaxed, or more uncomfortable and impatient? When a person becomes nervous and uncomfortable, the first thing they focus on is themselves, but making the other person feel good is not as important as themselves.

Unless you are confident enough to hold onto the other person, please prepare alternative plans as much as possible.

If the other party doesn’t like this coffee shop, or if this bar is louder than you imagine, can you go to another place where there won’t be the same problem? Where do you want to go? “” I can go anywhere… “Two people aimlessly searching for places on the street are not romantic, making each other feel polite and hesitant.

Remember why you’re dating.

The short-term goal of dating is to attract the other person and bring their relationship closer, while the long-term goal is to find a partner or marriage partner. Never forget to achieve long-term goals, short-term goals must be done well first. Is what you are doing currently interesting to the other party? Does it make you look attractive? Does it make the relationship closer? Please always ask yourself these questions instead of guessing whether the other person loves me or not.

It is not recommended to watch a movie on a first date in 2007, as both parties may not have adapted to each other’s presence yet.

Moreover, watching movies lacks communication, making it difficult to establish initial understanding and trust. If you must watch a movie, it is recommended not to watch romance movies because if you are not familiar with the relationship, it will be difficult to resonate with the emotions in the movie. Horror movies may have a suspension bridge effect, but they are not suitable for initial contracts. Action movies with comedic elements are the best choice, as they are both light hearted and enjoyable.

At the end of the first date, create a period of solitude.

No matter what fun things you did before, at the end, the two of you need time to calm down and chat, and organize your emotions. This is a great opportunity to evaluate the prospects of the other person and their relationship, but please do not confess your feelings at this time with great dissatisfaction. No one would believe a confession on a first date.

At the end of the first date, please don’t be indecisive,

Don’t doubt if the other person is not fully satisfied and if they should go somewhere else to do something. Politely thank the other person for their companionship, say goodnight, and if you feel good, plan your next date, at most with another hug. A concise and clear conclusion is the safest and least likely to disturb the impression.

010 don’t know what to say?

Too nervous? Worried about not looking good? Can’t guess the other person’s thoughts? No matter what problems you encounter on a date, please remember, when in doubt, smile。 The safest way to deal with uncertainty at any time is to smile. Although a smile may not answer the questions in your heart or solve the other person’s confusion, it will make them feel that you are cute. Many times it feels unrelated to the matter itself.

011 Always pay attention to your body movements,

This includes: the volume, pitch, and speed of your speech, facial expressions, especially your eyes and mouth, body posture and orientation, the position of your limbs, whether there are too many habitual small movements, whether there are too many distracting small movements, and it is recommended to let the other person see your hands. Putting your hands in pockets or out of their line of sight may make people feel a little uneasy.

When dating, please avoid leading the conversation and ask the other person more questions.

013 Please praise the other person appropriately.

It’s not about flattery. If you’re unsure how to avoid flattery, start with objective and obvious things: the watch looks great, the hairstyle suits you well, and the dress looks great. Praise for people also needs to be more specific: eyes are very lively, neck is beautiful, shoulders are wide, and height is commendable. The more abstract the praise, the more likely it is to become flattery, but it doesn’t matter if the other person likes to be flattered.

On a first date, besides praising the other person, you can also praise others,

This includes introducing intermediaries you know, mutual friends, waiters who serve you, taxi drivers who drive for you, and strangers who hold down elevator doors for you. Kindness towards others and positive energy are attractive traits in everyone’s eyes. My experience is that men have friendly conversations with strangers and leave a particularly good impression on women.

Don’t rush to showcase your unique aspects.

The so-called uniqueness may be that you are a bit neurotic, or you have a crazy love for a certain underground band in Lithuania, or some quirks. When two people first meet, no matter how cool or unique their personality traits are, it is difficult to appear attractive, and most of the time it will actually reduce your score. Please shut up the little monster inside and start with a normal good person.

During a date in 2016, girls may do the following due to nervousness:

Answer each question with only a few words (cold, cool, capable, but not cute or attractive); Everything is “arbitrary” and “I can do it” (which makes men take on all decisions and appear indecisive); Always looking at your phone, even if there is no message or call, or constantly looking at your watch (which makes you feel nervous, it’s best to just say when you want to leave); Pretending to be interested in everything (which can often be seen at a glance).

The initial appointment for 2017 should not exceed approximately 3 hours.

Usually, one and a half hours is enough for a meal. No matter how attractive you are, people will experience moments of mental exhaustion. Actually, when you two are particularly happy on your first date, that is, when your excitement begins to decline. At this point, finding an excuse to end the first date and leaving both of you slightly unsatisfied can actually create a lot of anticipation between now and the second meeting.

Never ask ‘What do you want to do next?’.

Dating is fun, making plans is not fun, so don’t let the other person do things with you that are not fun. Either give a multiple-choice question or make a decision directly. Regardless of gender, it is best to have some plans when going on a date, including where you may go on the second date if you feel good, and to plan ahead. This may be a problem for the first date.

Who will pay for the initial appointment in 2019? Most people in China would say that men buy.

Okay, it depends on different opinions, but if the man wants to pay the bill, try borrowing the opportunity to go to the bathroom and buy it directly instead of waiting for the bill to come in. Buying the bill is an awkward thing, let two people skip this section directly, it’s absolutely smooth! Girls must sincerely thank each other, and they can take the initiative to suggest that I pay for the next item/activity.

020 Don’t force the other person to come to a conclusion after the first date,

No matter how the other person perceives you, this behavior will result in a deduction of points. No matter how much you like each other, or how much you need companionship or marriage, don’t show your hunger or loneliness after the first date, especially for guys (I’m not good at dealing with girls, but I really like you). Don’t ask silly questions like ‘Do you like me?’.

If the other party forces you to give a conclusion,

Please politely tell the other person, ‘I hope to have more time to get to know you.’. If you are forced but don’t want to see you again, please don’t say that, otherwise the other party will persistently invite you to meet again. If you are forced to give an explanation for the initial appointment, it is completely okay to refuse directly. “Thank you for dinner/coffee/listening, but I have no feelings for you. Good luck

People often ask me if I should proactively contact someone who hasn’t called or messaged me after the initial appointment ends? My answer is always: unless you clearly feel that the other person dislikes you, there is absolutely no problem contacting them proactively! Especially girls, don’t guess the reason why the other person doesn’t contact you, it’s meaningless! On the other hand, if you don’t like the other person, don’t make it difficult to arrange a second meeting.

How long should I contact the other party after the initial appointment on 023? That night or the next day, it may seem too urgent, but after the third day, the other party will start to doubt your sincerity and use various reasons to convince themselves that you are not that good (teeth crooked, face big, clothes too dark… so on). So I suggest contacting within 24-48 hours after the initial appointment, which is the perfect interval.

I don’t recommend starting a text or WeChat chat immediately after the initial appointment of 024 ends. When we first met, we were indeed very excited, but it’s better to release this emotion step by step rather than rushing out. If you wish to have immediate contact after saying goodbye, please thank the other person for their companionship and confirm that you have arrived home, but do not continue the conversation from the date. The feeling of accumulating space and the feeling of accumulating through text chat often easily conflict or even cancel each other out.

I don’t recommend too frequent online chats or text messages, whether before or after the initial date, or during the first few days of dating. This greatly affects the sense of mystery, expectations, and sexual tension between the two. What is sexual tension? The suffocating feeling when two people look at each other, the self-restraint of being hesitant to speak, and the impulse to want to see but not dare to, are all sexual tensions. The feeling conveyed through text is based on fantasy, and it is easy to shatter when encountering real people.

026 First time men, please avoid wearing the following items: sports shoes (especially basketball shoes, training shoe types); Any style of sandals or slippers, if socks are worn under the sandals, the girl may leave directly; Formal tie (please remove immediately after work, use with caution when wearing a formal tie as it may be too formal); Shorts or cropped pants (excessively casual); Baseball cap; Too conspicuous jewelry (such as large gold chains).

027 First date women should be cautious about the following elements: sports shoes (high heels are still the best, don’t tell me you’re too lazy to dress up for the first date); Too much and too conspicuous jewelry (showing off is one aspect, high maintenance is another); Too much makeup (beautiful pupil, panda like eye shadow, flirtatious lipstick, bright blind lip gloss, etc. It is recommended to use natural nude makeup or light makeup); Clothes with too bright colors (how can you pay if they blind the other person’s eyes!)

How is the initial agreement of 028 considered successful? ① The two of them went from the uncertainty and anxiety of strangers to relaxation, naturally feeling that there were some topics that were not yet fully discussed, and some things they wanted to say and understand, hoping for opportunities. When asked the question of “whether to meet again”, you would not hesitate to say “Yes” without any special reason. The other person is not perfect, but there are some traits and attributes that are particularly noteworthy. Before bidding farewell, they have already arranged a second meeting.

How is the initial contract of 029 considered a failure? ① I don’t think there are any noteworthy aspects about the other person. ② We listed various background information, but there were no attractive aspects. ③ The other person repeatedly says and does things like obsessive-compulsive disorder, which makes you feel disgusted. ④ There is nothing to say, but their thinking and expression are different. ⑤ If you want to be friends with someone you already have, but you are not interested in being friends with that person at all, then it is better not to continue.

The weight of a first date in the overall development of a relationship is actually very light, as its impact on a long-term relationship is minimal. Some people may object, thinking that the initial agreement may directly kill the relationship between the two. This initial appointment is not bad, but rather serves as a reminder to both parties that there are too many aspects of mismatch between the two individuals to call, and it will be difficult to continue insisting.

Although the initial agreement is relatively unimportant, it does not mean that you can be casual. People who take their initial agreement seriously often also take their emotions seriously.

This is also the purpose of the 31 suggestions, to help everyone do every detail well, because details determine success or failure. The initial agreement has little impact on the success of family and career, but those who fail from the beginning will definitely not have a good outcome.